How to aviod infidelity in marraige.

Marriage is sacred and those who are involved in the union must try at all times; to play by the rule so that peace which is pivot on which marriage and family life rotates can guarantee their enjoyment of their respective unions.
Recently the news media is washed with news of celebrities involved in sexual escapades outside their marital union. The captain of English football team (Mr. John Terry) has been reported to be romancing another player’s estranged spouse which the coach of English team saw as not allowing healthy dressing-room relationship among players of ‘three lion’s as English team is called. This affair has affected his removal as the captain of English team.
The number one golf player “Mr. Tiger Wood “is also fighting the battle of his life to regain his integrity at hands of his wife, sponsors, and fans, after admitting being involved in extra-marital affairs. Several celebrities have been engaged in extra martial affairs in the past, some theirs got exposed while some still have theirs under cover. Nevertheless, let us now look at some of the reasons why some married people would venture into extra-marital affaires despite having such a beautiful spouse.

• Many married people are so pry-occupied with duty-calls that their marital responsibilities have taken a back seat (some claimed they have provided her with all she needed) and they expect their spouse to be happy and show understanding.
• Some women are created with hate for sex, therefore they can afford to endure the absence of it while some can not endure for a day hence if you apply a general rule, and some would definitely get their feel somewhere else. Therefore to save marriage and your spouse from embarrassing moments, you are advised to weigh and understand the sexual needs of each other and see how to compliment him or her. Compromise is always needed to succeed in any marriage union.
• Can you take a look at your dressing recently? Is it the same thing as at time you meet each other? Despite that marriage is also a spiritual matter, but I still believed that what our eyes sees contributes a lot to what we accepts. Please see where you have fallen below his/her expectation and make amends, so that his or her passion for you will continue to wax hot.
• What is your bed-room mannerism? Have you taken a look at what you wear to bed of late? Men and women who are in marriage should endeavor always to impress one another, to curtail any outside impressions.
• You can do your best by helping your spouse to life-out his sexual urge and be happy with each other.

Prince Vincent

29 THINGS WIVIES MUST DO TO KEEP THEIR MARRIAGES AGLOW!

How can a woman develop her full potentials to help bring the marriage to success rather that fighting it?
The only ways these can be achieved are by the following.



 As a woman, be creative, spontaneous, adventurous and romantic.
 Do not report or discuss your husband with any person.
 Sometime, do buy gift to him as presents. Also learn to say thank you
 Tell him that he is your best friend.
 Thank him for things he does that makes you feel loved.
 Be honest and sincere with him.
 Honour and respect him.
 Be grateful to your husband and let him know that you appreciate the things he does for you and the family.
 Always tell your husband that you are proud of him.
 Have a loving attitude towards him.
 Spend time with your husband relaxing, laughing, having fun and just enjoying each other.
 Always ask about your husband’s sexual needs and fulfill them.
 Develop good characters that will sustain your marriage.
 Play romantic games with him.
 Love him freely; don’t attach your love to material things.
 Do not lose self control during argument.
 Never abuse him.
 Do not keep other men.
 Do not sleep separately due to disagreement or argument.
 Do not lie to him.
 Never spend money and how.
 Do not withhold sex as means of punishing him.
 Do not fail to defend him before his family or friends.
 Listen attentively to what he’s saying without interrupting him
 Don’t starve him of food.
 Don’t compare him with other people.
 Don’t belittle him.
 Don’t beat your husband no matter how strong you are.
 Don’t abuse his parents, siblings or relations.
We believe that these will help your marriage if truly you implement them in your marriage. We urge you today to enter your husband’s heart through the above methods. Enjoy your marriage.

Prince Vincent

HOW I SAVED MY CHILDLESS MARRIAGE AND REMAIN HAPPILY MARRIED.(Part03)

SAVED SITUATION

The situation started affecting my relationship with my wife.Whenever this matter comes for discussion, it tends to tear us apart,because one of us will try to take sides with one parent's position.The issue of childlessness is very strong in our society.The woman can not be left out.She bears the burden squarely. She is at the center of the debacle, she bears the brunt. If care is not taken, she may be replaced by a (suggestive divorce) more fruitful woman by her in-laws.They are most times not willing to wait too long or having any kind of patience, even if it has been advised by the experts to be patient and wait!

Considering the years we've been in marriage without a child and my position in the family made it more difficult, it becomes imperative that solution must be found.It behooves my wife to become also desperate for the solution.
She started consulting for solutions on the matter which took her to pastors with different spiritual dimensions and doctors. While my mother was frantically making arrangements to get a new wife for her only son, nothing was to be spared.

But mission accomplished was the watch word.Take note; what was upper-most in the mind of my mother is generational continuity and quest to keep the family name, our happiness was not taken into consideration at all.
The problem of a childless marriage can not be over emphasized, we suffered severally in the hands of solution-givers who had ways to get our finances. They failed to live up to the expectations or to their promises. In this kind of situation, spending is not budgeted, but must done .

Your are expected to respond to any recommendation brought- about as a solution to the problem, irrespective of your financial standing .I can not forget what one of the doctors' who diagnosed my wife told us, that she was having petuatry tumor. But it a wrong diagnosis, because other doctors who later had a more comprehensive diagnosed, found no tumor.
While we're looking for solutions for conception, we resolved to adopt children who are now part of our family. Initially there we're opposition to this idea but when they found out that both myself and my wife we're not willing yield to their pressure,it behooves them to accept our proposal, hence that has defeated the initially idea of bringing another woman(second wife) into our home just because we could have children of our own in time.
My advise to couples who find themselves in this kind of situation is that they should threaten their bond of love for one another. There should not be bulk-passing. They should swim-together in the problem that were facing them. Once those opposing them finds out that they were not united in love and not having a common purpose to fighting the raging enemy, they would tear them apart and have their ways. Couples have difficulty in childbearing should making time to exhaust all the medical solutions avail to them.
Men should not stick to their un-compromising attitude,which always brand women as the guilty party in this case. Both of them should submit themselves to medical check-ups/ laboratory diagnoses to avoid one-sided action.

Often time women are traumatized on the issue of delayed child-bearing,without checking out the facts of the matter on both sides. While you're looking for solutions, do not forget to seek God's hand to help you,.
If you have further response to this article, please feel free to drop us a few line. Your questions will be welcomed!


Prince Vincent.

HOW I SAVED MY CHILDLESS MARRIAGE AND REMAIN HAPPILY MARRIED.(Part 02)

MY EXPERIENCE

I want to use my case to give you a pip into what obtains, or "what you can call a case-study" and the troubles some couples have been through because they did not have children on time after they got married or did not have at all.
Several marriages have crashed as a result of pressure on the marriage from relatives/extended family members. From my point view as an African/One with enormous experience.
Children are precious to the family for different reasons. The survival and economic factors of the families is squarely placed on the children. Every family look forward to their children succeeding them either in their endeavors or linage elongation. So the premium placed on child-bearing by families in Africa is so much, and puts pressure on couples especially newly formed ones. Grandparents and relatives are on the loo-out for the off-spring of the union.
Since I'm using myself and my wife as a case study,
it will be good to start by giving you a beat of my background. I'm the only son of my parents and I've been married since May 29th 1992 without a child.

My parents had me at their later age,or (when they had almost lose hope of have a male child) and where also eagerly looking forward to seeing me produce off-springs for the continuity of the family. When I got married, my mother was relieved that it won't be long before she will carry her grandchildren, also the anxiety of family extinction was taken care of; But their expectations did not come quickly as hoped. As the conception delayed,anxiety started mounting on the to find quicker solution.
Then came the subtle quests for solutions . Every one was worried that no conception has taken place after one year of staying together as husband and wife. My mother summoned my wife to have a chat with her on the issue. On our own, we did not keep quite about the situation knowing fully well the type of environment/ society we have. We started visiting doctors of gynecology to know if there were things we needed to do rightly or doing wrongly. Our parents were not left out of the search for remedy. On their own they went as far as consulting traditional/natural medicine men/women whom by their believe are more knowledgeable and has an effective solution to the matter at hand.Though we tried not to offend them, seeing that all they were interested in, were in our well being, nevertheless, we made sure all the recommended practices did not constitute a sin to our faith. The more years roll-by and there was no sign of conception,the more pressure came on us.

The situation became un-bearable to my mother, she started making arrangements for alternative wife who'll help to procreate the children irrespective of our happiness. Crises crept into our marriage, my wife would think that I'm on the side of my parents to bring in a new wife. As the man at the center of the crises, I was boxed in between and solutions was not in sight quickly.
In one of the occasions my mother brought a beautiful lady who had a son,(outside wedlock) and introduced her to me as my wife to be!The proposal includes accepting the child as part of my family and making him my son. She said that if only I would agree to marry the lady with the child ,she would go ahead to conclude all marital rites.
In the same vein, she approached my wife to accept the young woman as her mate(second wife) in the family.In fairness to her, all efforts were geared toward finding solutions to achieve the objective of the "big family." Both sides of the in-laws have their options and parts to play to actualize their ideals. They are not ready to sheathe their sword until the arrival of their grandchildren, as the saying goes"Where two elephants fights" it is the grass that suffers".That was how best I could describe what our marriage went through just because we could not bear children in time to fill the expectations of our families.
My wife and I, were incurring the wrath of the family(extended) members by our insistence to wait for God's appointed time.

HOW I SAVED MY CHILDLESS MARRIAGE AND REMAIN HAPPILY MARRIED.

You can be happy in your marriage even if you did not have children.The union of two persons coming together in marriage is because they love each other.That should be uppermost in the hearts of couples.
If marriage is not meant to be enjoyed, then what is the essence of it ? Children are the crowing blessing of the union, so if after some years of expecting this crowning blessing and there is no sign of the arrival of children on the board.Then the couple must watch-out for a possible crack in the wall of their marriage. It might not be their own design or in their interest to quarrel over delayed childbearing, but that of the extended interest groups/families. if adequate care is not taken to check-mate issues, things might get-out of hand and hamper their relationship.

Let me ask you this question, if after some years of being in marriage and there is no child. What would be your attitude to the situation? Consider that in your society that won't be acceptable.Think about every relative being concerned for your sake! How about those who had suddenly become medical advisers' to the situation? All these people will be breathing down your neck for their supposed grandchildren whom they are expecting from your union etc. The problems of childless couples differs from one society/community to another depending on which part of the globe you are.

HOW POWERFUL IS PILLOW-TALK?

It is no longer news that women in Kenya has decided to embark on seven days sex strike, to drive home their quest for peaceful and well governed country. In the same vein, they have encouraged the wives of President and Prime Minister of Kenya to use pillow-talk on their husbands, to help these women to take home the views of women. Their line of argument is that when men have retired to bed with their wives, they are calmer, hence all protocol have ceased. The warmth of love and passion takes over the atmosphere. Wives, who know how to play their role, could then make special appeal to their husbands. She could be interceding for a people or interests.
Talking about pillow-talk, several power-hungry women have used the pillow-talk syndrome to control government's policies and appointments. Many first ladies of different nations have used the power of women through pillow-talk to achieve their purposes.
History has it that strong men, powerful rulers, Kings, and Presidents have all at one time or other, done the bidding of their wives. Political office seekers have always found wives of heads of government an avenue to penetrate political circles and obtain their desired appointments.
Since women have used pillow talk to achieve their desires and the wishes of her beneficiaries. I would then recommend that this practice be apply also to marital crisis. If wives who are having marital disagreement with their spouses could borrow a leaf from those who have practiced “pillow talk syndrome” they would on their own sort their spouse out and begin to enjoy their marriages.
Wives should seek out the best mood of their spouses, especially when they had retired to bed, “rearing to go” sensing that the passion is high, every man will be willing to concede enough to a discerning wife if she plays her pillow-tones well.
How about the Kenyan women and their sex-strike? From the BBC interview I listened. Some male respondents complained that they would find it difficult to stay seven days without sex. There lies the power of women which has made the strong men of this world to look like chicken. “Hallow ladies” power your marriages with your ever powerful pillow-tones. Your gifted by God power your bedrooms. Sweet dreams ……Sweet dreams….Sweet dreams…….

Saving Your Marriage By Loving Your In-Law. Part 03

Appreciating the In-laws

Realizing what you can and can't do is the first step. The second step is to work at better understanding and appreciating your in-laws. When you identify specific areas you need to address, you must come up with your own game plan.
Relationships are fluid and ever-changing. We hope the following suggestions will help your in-laws relationships change for the better positive change can begin in several ways. It can begin with a new idea, and we want to suggest several new ideas for loving your in-laws that may be you haven’t considered before.
Change can begin with a change in attitude, and change also occurs through actions, so we'll tell you some things you can do right now to really love your in-laws.

Find the Comfort Zone between Intimacy and Distance

When we asked, “What is your best advice for building healthy in-law relationships?” we received the same answer from four different countries! Two simple words “Stay away!” This wasn’t the answer we were expecting, but it gave us a clue to one big dilemma in in-law relationships. In-laws have difficulty finding the comfort zone between intimacy and distance.
Picture a seesaw with intimacy on one end and distance on the other. What you want to do is find the appropriate balance in your relationship.
It is a continual balancing act, and it’s easy to get off balance. The changes in life create the need to continually adjust that balance. Some families enjoy getting together each Sunday for dinner, while others say, “Isn’t it great that we get to see our parents and in-laws several times a year?”
There are so many factors: where you live, children, jobs, and financial resources. This is one area where you simply have to find what works for you. The more in-laws you add, the more complicated relationships become. You can’t be as intimate with everyone as you can with your own spouse and children.
Then you need to evaluate your expectations. Mary, a new mom, told us how she felt when she was in the hospital when her first child was born. She loved all the attention she received during her pregnancy. The baby arrived. It was great fun when all the family came to the hospital to visit her and to see the baby, but then they all said good bye and went out to eat together. She was left alone in her hospital room with her new baby while everyone else was celebrating at her favorite restaurant! She felt more distance at this point than she wanted to feel. Then, in the following weeks, both her mother and mother in-law were continually around to give a helping hand. Their motives were great, but at this point Mary just wanted a little space. It's hard to find the balance between being too involved and bot being involved enough? and how do you deal with a mother- in-law(sorry, not trying to pick on mothers-in-law, but this is an occupational hazard for mothers who love and care for their adult kids and spouses) who wants to be overly involved in your life? Here are some suggested ways to find that comfort zone:

• Think about the past. How did your p[parents or in-laws relate to their own parents and in-laws? They simply nay be repeating the pattern that was modeled for them.
• Talk it out with your parents and in-laws.
• One couple asked each set of parents, what does it take to make you feel comfortable with us?
• One mother-in-law answered, "I need to feel included." Another said,” I need some time alone away from people."
• Share your own feelings. Talk openly about holidays and try to work out a compromise before hand that everyone can live with.